The question is, “Why is it so easy to think negative thoughts? Why do we do this to ourselves?”
The answer to the question is this: We’re trained to. Everyone around us shows us their negativity from the moment of conception. Some families more than others, but there are very few positive families, with positive outlooks and positive energy to give to their children. If we don’t get a lot of negativity at home, we surely get a ton of it at school, church, other relatives, etc. Simply being out in the world is a predominantly negative energy experience when you’re dealing with other people. Go into any store, someone will be be pissed off about something and exuding negative energy. Go to any restaurant, same thing. Someone will be showing their fear/anger.
The idea isn’t to stop them from having their experience or for you to nitpick over every negative thought and emotion. The idea is to have more positive and happy thoughts and feelings, than not. Forgive yourself when the negativity hits. If you can, find a way to laugh at the thought/feeling. Even if you can just say to yourself, “well that thought’s a bit silly, isn’t it”, it will help tremendously. When you get into “nitpick mode” and you’re constantly being vigilant, you’re deep in resistance. That just brings more negativity into your experience. Let it go as much as you can, by allowing it to be there, but not give it much, if any, attention. You’re never going to be in a place where you never have a negative thought or feeling, so let the idea of being positive all the time go. That keeps you stuck.
Soon, you’ll get to a place inside yourself where you’ll simply notice that your thoughts and feelings have gone a bit negative, and you’ll laugh and then change them. Even just laughing at the silliness of it will help change the energy immediately. If the thought and feeling are particularly intense, then you can look at it a little deeper and ask yourself what it is that you are afraid of in this moment. By stopping your thought process, and asking yourself that question, you pull yourself out of the fear. You can’t really feel fear when you’re in “query mode”. Your brain automatically goes off to find the answer to the question and forgets to be afraid. I do this with children when they’re crying. I don’t ask them why they are crying, but I ask them something completely unrelated, like “did you see that cat across the street”, or “what did you do in school today”. Anything to distract their minds from whatever is causing them to cry. Then, you can find out what they are upset about. Same with us adults. Give the mind something to do, and it will forget the fear in that moment, and that’s all you need to begin to shift the energy.
Do this along with staying grounded, and you’ll see pretty quickly just how easy it actually is to stay more positive about everything in your life. =)
Ross – “Tolemac”