“Why do we do this to ourselves??”

The question is, “Why is it so easy to think negative thoughts? Why do we do this to ourselves?”

negativity

The answer to the question is this: We’re trained to. Everyone around us shows us their negativity from the moment of conception. Some families more than others, but there are very few positive families, with positive outlooks and positive energy to give to their children. If we don’t get a lot of negativity at home, we surely get a ton of it at school, church, other relatives, etc. Simply being out in the world is a predominantly negative energy experience when you’re dealing with other people. Go into any store, someone will be be pissed off about something and exuding negative energy. Go to any restaurant, same thing. Someone will be showing their fear/anger.

The idea isn’t to stop them from having their experience or for you to nitpick over every negative thought and emotion. The idea is to have more positive and happy thoughts and feelings, than not. Forgive yourself when the negativity hits. If you can, find a way to laugh at the thought/feeling. Even if you can just say to yourself, “well that thought’s a bit silly, isn’t it”, it will help tremendously. When you get into “nitpick mode” and you’re constantly being vigilant, you’re deep in resistance. That just brings more negativity into your experience. Let it go as much as you can, by allowing it to be there, but not give it much, if any, attention. You’re never going to be in a place where you never have a negative thought or feeling, so let the idea of being positive all the time go. That keeps you stuck.

Soon, you’ll get to a place inside yourself where you’ll simply notice that your thoughts and feelings have gone a bit negative, and you’ll laugh and then change them. Even just laughing at the silliness of it will help change the energy immediately. If the thought and feeling are particularly intense, then you can look at it a little deeper and ask yourself what it is that you are afraid of in this moment. By stopping your thought process, and asking yourself that question, you pull yourself out of the fear. You can’t really feel fear when you’re in “query mode”. Your brain automatically goes off to find the answer to the question and forgets to be afraid. I do this with children when they’re crying. I don’t ask them why they are crying, but I ask them something completely unrelated, like “did you see that cat across the street”, or “what did you do in school today”. Anything to distract their minds from whatever is causing them to cry. Then, you can find out what they are upset about. Same with us adults. Give the mind something to do, and it will forget the fear in that moment, and that’s all you need to begin to shift the energy.

Do this along with staying grounded, and you’ll see pretty quickly just how easy it actually is to stay more positive about everything in your life. =)

positivity

Bright Blessings,

Ross – “Tolemac”

The Power To Change Is In Your Hands

Most people stop themselves from accomplishing and achieving what they would really like and want to do in life mainly because they do not have the belief in themselves that they can make the changes necessary. Typically, these are the people that say words like “I can’t” and “if only”. It is not often that they realize that they are the ones that have the power within themselves to achieve anything they desire, if they are only willing to change themselves.

Typically, people think that change is completely beyond their control and so they feel totally powerless to do anything that can change the situation they find themselves in. However by changing ourselves and our outlook on life, we then begin to take charge of our lives and make the changes needed. By changing how you think and feel about yourself and your circumstances, you give yourself the power to change your life to the one you want. One where everything is possible and is within easy reach. Here are a couple of simple methods to get you started in making the changes you want.

What is it that you want from life?

The very first step to changing your life is to decide what it is exactly that you want to change in yourself and/or your life. Is there some particular aspect in your life that you want to change? Is there something about you as a person you feel needs changing? You need to write down specifically what it is that you wish to change, making as complete a list of everything that you aren’t happy about as possible, and the changes you believe you need to make.

Get out a legal size sheet of paper, and make two headlines at the top. Mark the first one on the upper left as “Things I want to change” and mark the second one on the upper right as “How I will change them” Now, you can number down the left hand side if you wish, and list out first, all the things in you and your life you want to change. Be completely honest and as specific as possible. Once you’ve listed those out, go back to the top and start on the right hand column and list how you are going to make the changes for each one. Again, be specific and honest.

If you want to actually make these changes, you have to come from as open a place inside yourself as possible. Self delusion, or hiding what is real will only keep you from making the changes you want. The way we feel about ourselves and see ourselves, has everything to do with how we see life. If we are full of fear, self-doubt and lack of confidence, this shows in how we present ourselves to the world and to our own selves.

Change your mind, change your life

Self-doubt will get you down really quickly, so one of the first steps you’ll need to do to accomplish taking your life back into your own hands is to change your basic outlook.
You need to realize that it is you and only you that has the power to change and the secret to this is freeing your mind and body from fear and doubts so that you can start to move forward and begin making the changes you want. Allowing yourself to have a more positive attitude will help you to be able to change the way you feel and react to any situation.

More importantly, it will help you with what you are able to achieve. You will be able to do this because with a different attitude towards life in general, you will see things differently and you’ll experience them differently, with more confidence and self-assuredness. Also, others around you will be more responsive to you and your needs and they will appreciate how you are better able to handle situations. This in turn will give you even more self confidence.

Of necessity, the changes you make should be small at first, as you don’t want to add the stress of trying to accomplish huge changes on the hurry up. Soon though, you will begin to realize that the changes are happening and that it is you that is making them happen. You’ll realize that you don’t have to rely on anyone else.

Along with these positive changes, you will feel better, have more self-esteem, confidence, be more enthusiastic and be more self-motivated. Whenever I finish with a healing client, I have them look in the mirror so that they can see immediately how they look better than they did before, both physically and energetically. Recognize the positive changes you are making and celebrate them! Validate yourself for every step you take. This positive re-enforcement goes a long way to helping you make even bigger changes, and making them quicker.

Taking and accepting responsibility

Taking full responsibility for your life is a magical thing. It can immediately remove the idea of “blame”. By accepting total responsibility and realizing that you alone hold the power to make the changes you want, you will bring incredible self-satisfaction to yourself. Remember, “responsibility” is simply being “able to respond” So, when you take a deep and totally truthful look at your life, you will easily see that you and you alone made the decisions that brought you to where you are.

Sure, other people and situations influenced your decisions, but ultimately, you are the one who agreed to them. By not “blaming” anything or anyone outside of yourself, you really are free to make even better decisions. The idea here is not to blame yourself either. The idea is to accept the way you dealt with whatever came along, forgive yourself if it didn’t turn out like you wanted it to and to move forward toward better choices, and to acknowledge yourself if the changes and decisions you make work out for you.

Too often, people are very quick to judge themselves harshly when things go awry, but rarely allow themselves to feel good for things that turn out the way they wanted or needed. By taking responsibility for your life, you can say honestly and completely, “I did that” whether it was “good ” or “not so good”. This will give you a freedom that most people will never experience.

Here are a few quick tips to help you make changes in your life:

  • Find a self-help course to attend.

    Most people will need a guiding hand to get them going when they first start out to make the changes they want in their life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out help at this time, and one of the best ways to do that is to attend a workshop or course that can help you get the advice and support you need so that you can take control in a safe environment.

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  • Read self-help books and/or watch DVD’s..

    If you are unable to attend a class or workshop, then getting motivational DVD’s and self-help books is the next best thing to being there. While you won’t have the interaction, you can still find plenty of inspiration to get you going on the right path.

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  • Clean up your space.

    Clutter in the environment leads to clutter in the mind. One of the best ways to prepare for the changes you want to make, is to change the energy of the space where you live. Get rid of the old energy by doing a thorough cleaning and by removing objects that either are no longer useful, or invoke negative feelings. Recycle old clothing and let go of anything that distracts you from what you want to accomplish. Read up on Feng Shui, or if there’s one in your area, hire a consultant to come in and help you re-set the energy of your home. This one tip goes a very long way to getting you into the right mind set to create a better you.

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    Finally, remember to love yourself and to be your own best friend. If you don’t like and love yourself, how can anyone else? By treating yourself with love, forgiveness and respect, others will treat you that way as well.

    Deep Peace and Brightest Blessings!